lo siento
Having looked through the last 100 Novas blogs and having seen that none of them have been from me, I feel this is as good as a time as any to give you a glimpse of how quickly the last few weeks seem to have slipped away.
Generally, I can count on weekends to spend a few hours at trusty Cafe Email, where 100 cords (about five bucks) allows for 10 hours of time on one of their desktops. Originally, that 10 hours didn’t last very long, relatively speaking. A few afternoons of 2-3 hours each and it disappeared a little more quickly than I’d like.
Lately however, I’ve been slipping on for 2-3 minutes at a time at a friends house or whenever possible, mostly because our weekends have been spent elsewhere. Two weeks ago we went to Masaya, a local town with a fairly large artesians market, and then to the zoo in Managua, which happens to cost less to enter than the bus fare to get there. Even so, they had a pretty impressive display of animals, including the chance to stare eye to eye with a croc, with only two chain link fences stuck to each other separating you, and of course a few foreigners se llaman ardillas (squirrels). Seriously though, it was pretty nice, with toucans, lions, jags, monkeys, a huge snake that was luckily better housed than the little one in the aquarium with a tin roof.
Last week I was blessed with the chance to spend the weekend at Campo Alegria in Rivas with a group from the dump here in Granada, and then since there was extra room, I was able to bring along a few of the neighbors that I’ve been hanging out with as well.
Being so close to the beach, we spent quite a bit of time in Lake Nica, which can have surprisingly large waves for a lake. Now I want to revisit Lake Erie just to see. Even so, the water is so shallow that the two people making up the farthest corners of the fairly large square that the kids had to stay into were about stomach deep, depending of course on the height of both the “tree” (lifeguard/ watcher person) and the waves.
Even after spending an entire weekend surrounded by kids, where you’re under the same curfew as them and any chance to sit (or walk) without someone hanging on to you is appreciated, I still think working at one for a longer period of time would be something that I might possibly almost enjoy.
I’m not known as the most energetic person alive, but something about laughing after falling into someone after spinning with my head to a mini bat says that maybe, just maybe, I could survive the dreaded camp games that I’ve been known to sit out during.
And then I could encourage those that remind me so much of myself- longing to play but not quite knowing how.
Holding a homesick girl’s hand and telling her about how this is the longest I’ve ever been away from home or looking straight into a girls wet eyes as she asked me to pray with her to accept Christ only to look up and see the rest of the girls crying by our side, I felt last weekend that the long hours, the loss of dignity, the stripping of my pride and energy only to be rejuvenated with the endurance and joy I’ve longed for, would definitely be worth it.
Give and take. I don’t know what I’ll do this summer. I don’t know whether I’ll try to find a camp that’s running a little late on filling their open positions or use the free time to work on guitar, violin, catch up on some reading etc.
I’ll never forget last weekend though and how much a bunch of preteens taught me about letting go of my reserve for their sakes, seeing through the tears, and seeing them as God sees me.
I’ll be home in a little over 2 weeks and I can’t promise you that you won’t recognize me. I can’t promise that I’ll be half-way decent at the game Curses, or know what to do at a dance party. I can’t promise that I’ll have really found a voice that doesn’t tend to fade into the distance.
But even when I have a hard time seeing how, I know I’ve grown and I know that I’ll be better able to sympathize because of my internal battles. It’s all good! (Rom 8:28)
