At least three times a week, Gilberto, Liana, y yo asistimos a Vida Joven, the Young Life group that meets at El Puente. Asistir means to attend with no connotations of helping out, and until recently, I felt as if, personally, that was all I was doing- showing up, attending the leader meetings, coming to the bible studies, being there- and that it wasn’t enough; that because I wasn’t speaking up, my presence wasn’t necessary. I understood what was going on, for the most part at least, but I still didn’t really feel a part of it, like I didn’t have a right to call myself a participant, never mind a leader.
I let myself get discouraged, again, that I was not doing; that I couldn’t think on my feet (in another language nonetheless), come up with genious ideas, or dance out in front for the amusement of others.
Yet lately I have really been challenged to consider the fruit growing out of sight, and therefore out of mind.
By just being there, I’ve had the opportunity to witness the brokenness of former and current gang members, especially at VJ camp last weekend. Although we went to serve in the kitchen, we were given the chance to pray for and with the students who were coming in after a surrender walk. Although I thought I was there to cut veggies and wash dishes, by simply being available I was able to pray and cry with a girl who has had some pretty steep walls built up. When in one of our prayer meetings we were to turn and speak life into the person to our side, I had the chance to encourage a gang leader on a personal level, simply because I know him. Whether in our weekly prayer meetings, in the worship before the weds night bible study, thurs afternoon jicaro (bracelet making to raise $ for VJ) or during thurs night club itself, I’ve been able to see and welcome and speak to people I can’t really relate to in the streets, but because I’m around, they know my name and I know theirs.
Experiences and invested time never go to waste. I’m not here for a program or to see a program grow. I’m here for people, including and especially myself. I’m here to water and let myself be watered. I’m here to grow. If that’s all that happens in these six months it would be more than enough, but because I’m here, I get the priviledge to witness and come alongside others who are walking the same road.
Although I still wish I had a chance to sit down with his full 6 page story, here is the testimony of a friend who’s life turned 180 because people were willing to just be Christ to him.
Great word Val! I love that you’re realizing some great truths.
I am preparing a missions newsletter for the church. I am going to add this to the newsletter. It was a really good, honest posting. It sounds like God is really using you were you are at. Our missionary last week spoke on how God’s plan for you and me is no less important than the one He had for John the Baptist. I have been struggling for a long time with feelings that my life is not significant and that I am not doing enough for God. I had shared this with Pastor Chris just two weeks before. Having God speak this message to me was incredibly liberating. I think He has told me this before, but I don’t think I ever was really in a place to “listen”. I am really proud of you Valerie, and I know God is too! You are his special creation. You don’t have to be anyone else…just follow the Holy Spirit and be you!